I Can Watch “The Lake House”
Matt wrote:
I dare you to watch one of the hardest movies to sit through ever: The
Lake House, starring Sandra Bullock and Keanu Reeves.
The Lake House- Dir. Alejandro Agresti 2006
Let me just say that there’s a special place in hell for films that use up tens of millions of dollars and still can’t surpass “crappy”.
This movie was bad.The Plot:
Keanu Reeves and Sandra Bullock have a “long distance relationship” that can’t even be thwarted by science and reason. They write each other letters (through time) that each receives in an enchanted mailbox posted in the yard of a glass house. They love each other, become mildly irritated with one another, and ultimately reach incredible levels of intimacy.
What Makes It Watch-able:
Not-a-lotta. The thing that kept me going through this movie was spite (and the promise from the ratings card of “a disturbing image”, but don’t get your hopes up). The copy I rented wasn’t widescreen, and for one of the first times since 1999, I was happy that I couldn’t see a movie’s missing edges. If only they could have panned and scanned away more…
The whole time travel thing was ridiculous. You’ve got a mailbox that can transport stuff to the future, huh? The best possible thing you can do with this miracle: pass notes. Really? It made me think about the end of Titanic when the wise, intelligent old lady who finally knows what love really means chucks a zillion dollar necklace into the ocean–a necklace that could have fed thousands of starving kids or helped cure cancer. Thanks a heap, delusional aristocrat.
The fact that this movie even got made got me thinking the same thing.
“me and keanu”
Times I had to avert my eyes: 0
Breaks necessary to complete viewing: 1
Overall rating from 1 to 10: 4
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4 Responses to “I Can Watch “The Lake House””
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Most people hate bad movies. Some people like to make fun of them. Not me. I LOVE BAD MOVIES! This site is all about my love of horribly bad movies, television shows, and media. My friends have always told me that I'll watch anything. (Think I'm joking? Check out the list of things I've already watched under "categories"!) Now I'm going to put that to the test. I'm on a mission to find a movie so bad, even I can't sit through the whole thing! 
October 24th, 2007 at 1:09 pm
First thing’s first: from the standpoint of quantum physics, there’s no possible way that the mailbox would be able to send notes INTO the future. It could only send things back to another time during which the mailbox existed. And there’d be lots of lasers involved. Also the notes would most readily be more like radio signals than physical letters. So the premise is completely implausible. Perhaps you should watch it again, ignoring all messages to the future and just looking at the one’s that travel back through time? It might make it more bearable. Kinda like a Garfield comic strip that doesn’t includ what Garfield is thinking.
October 24th, 2007 at 6:36 pm
I have to admit, I didn’t watch this one.
I also have to admit, I am intoxicated, so one may need to disavow the previous statement.
October 24th, 2007 at 7:00 pm
I got about 12 minutes into the movie before I had to take a shit.
Kudos to you, Mr. Crappy Movie watcher! BTW, how does it end?
October 24th, 2007 at 7:06 pm
I’m not telling anyone the ending, not even if that person was to call me personally. I had to watch the whole thing, and that kind of torture must needs be rewarded with keeping the ending as a trophy. A secret trophy that only I have glimpsed!