The Rev. Baron Eric wrote:
I challenge you to view: Reborn from Hell–Samurai Armageddon!
We may as well ease you into the torture, Joel. Jon. I meant Jon.
Hey, at least it has samurai, eh?

Reborn from Hell: Samurai Armageddon: Dir. Kazumasa Shirai 1999

samurai armegeddon

Armageddon Haiku

Reborn from hell with
Hats the size of wagon wheels
A warrior weeps.

First, let me say that Reborn from Hell: Samurai Armageddon is better than I thought it would be. Second, it should be noted that it does not star Sonny Chiba (which is what I thought after a quick, misinformed glance at the box). Eric, while I can’t say without ego that you were being easy on me, this movie had some things going for it that made it worth watching (things that complimented, rather than detracted from, all the crap).

The Plot:
reborn2 A guy wearing makeup that would make Cher blush on her worst day offers a bunch of martial arts experts a chance at glory, if only they will die and be reborn from hell (this is an important plot point, throughout the first 2/3 of the film you hear around 30 times about the rebirth process) before they fight. A guy in an eye-patch has to beat up each of the dead people or Armageddon will happen. At least that’s my best guess.

This movie is incredibly hard to follow, and if you rent a crappy VHS copy with subtitles (which is what I opted for), I DARE YOU to make a better plot synopsis. I can’t really complain, though, cause I enjoyed many aspects of the film and had a good time watching it.

What Made It Watch-able:
reborn1 To start off, there was no shortage of “Lord Rayden” hats in the movie. I have no idea why those basket style hats always make me happy, but they do. A small sprinkling of boobs never hurts, and a character like an undead libidinous monk (gone wild, of course) is not a bad thing either. There were some special effects that were not too bad; lots of green blood and a fairly convincing man bursting out of a woman’s body.

The action scenes weren’t that great for the most part, especially when compared to the kick-ass kung-fu in something like “Duel to the Death”. Reborn From Hell is not without its good points when it comes to fight scenes, though; there was even a pretty cool (and honorable) decapitation. Basically, I couldn’t help but enjoy this movie, even though I know for a fact that it was terrible on a pretty grand scale.

Times I had to avert my eyes: 0
Breaks necessary to complete viewing: 3 (two, however, were caused by poor timing)
Overall rating from 1 to 10: 5

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