Matt wrote:
Okay, you may have survived my last attempt - The Lake House, but now you’ve got
to deal with Anthony Anderson’s King’s Ransom!!!!
Just seeing the preview in the theaters made me want to vomit. No doubt you’ll
be able to breeze through this one, my friend.

King’s Ransom- Dir. Jeff Byrd 2005

Let’s see–what’s black and white and contains very few likable characters? I’ll give you one guess. Not that this movie wasn’t funny, it just wasn’t funny enough. The two best things in this film were Charlie Murphy playing an ex-con (big surprise, but he does it well), and a hamburger. The rest, even the extremely good looking women, all came together to form the epitome of “a gray area” that was “King’s Ransom”. To be perfectly honest, I’d probably have had more fun watching something terrible (I usually do).

The Plot: Anthony Anderson wants to hide his riches, of which he has plenty, from his soon to be ex-wife. His plan? To kidnap himself so he can secretly pay a ransom to someone he hires (which really sounds like a terrible idea now that I think about it, but whatever). Unfortunately for Anderson’s character, Malcolm King (get it, King’s Ransom), a bunch of other people want to kidnap him at the same time, on the same night. Just like Shakespeare!

Anyway, the movie goes on and on, and now that I’ve started this paragraph, I really don’t feel like finishing it.

What makes it watch-able: Okay, there’s something that makes a guy up and start a website like this–a website where I’m literally begging people to suggest the worst cinema they can think of so I can watch and love it. Basically, what I’m trying to say here is that if I was Rocky, most bad movies would get knocked out in the first round. Something like “Jane Austen’s Persuasion” will give me a Clubber Lang-esque battle, but, thus far, very few things have gone the distance, if you know what I mean.

So, I pop in “King’s Ransom”, a movie that might be terrible to someone else but perfectly good to me, and I’m in heaven, right? Wrong! I’ve been wrestling with this stupid film all day, and I still can’t decide what I think about it. Anthony Anderson, who has impressed me with his performances in “Harold & Kumar” and “Hustle & Flow”, but has been a real turn-off in some other movies, does a pretty mediocre job. Jay Mohr was pretty funny but his performance was over the top like a trucker trying to impress his son.

So, I didn’t exactly breeze through it, but it wasn’t that hard either. Honestly, there were a few laughs–but everybody, with only a few exceptions, literally got out funnied by a hamburger (man, that hamburger was great). The best part of watching this movie was that it wasn’t bad enough for my girlfriend to hate me for hours after it was over. If I could only get her to watch something cool like Chud 2…

Times I had to avert my eyes: 0
Breaks necessary to complete viewing: 1
Overall rating from 1 to 10: 5, I guess. Nothing else would really fit.

If you're new here, you may want to subscribe to my RSS feed. Thanks for visiting!