Jay wrote:
Hey, Jon-
Worst movie I ever sat through in a theater:  Kenneth Branagh’s FRANKENSTEIN.  The one with De Niro as the monster.  uhhhhg.  I wanted my 2 hours back.

Mary Shelley’s Frankenstein: Dir. Kenneth Branagh 1994

So, I wasn’t sure if I’d ever read the original “Frankenstein”, but now I’m positive I haven’t. I was quite surprised at how different this story is from the one that’s been in my head since I was a kid. I couldn’t believe some of the stuff that was in this movie, or some of the things that weren’t. Biggest complaint: where’s my hunchback?! I totally MISSED Igor; he’s so cool! Additionally, I was shocked that the original monster could not only read and write, but LECTURE folks, as well! I can easily see how someone wouldn’t like this movie…

That being said, I thought it was great! To be fair to the man that posed this dare, Jay also suggested “The Doom Generation”, which I, like a lot of guys who went to college in the mid to late 90s (and probably 100% of the ones who were in film school during that time), HAD to watch. That terrible excuse for a film has been on my top dislikes list for over a decade, but that’s what the ladies of the period wanted to talk about. Back then it was “Doom Generation” or Hal Hartley movies or “She’s So Lovely” (same director as “The Notebook”, which I’ve managed to avoid thus far)–if you wanted to have something to say around the chicks, there were just some things you had to sit through. Anyway, that film would have been a real rat fart of a challenge if I hadn’t already watched it– “Mary Shelley’s Frankenstein”, on the other hand, I couldn’t have enjoyed more.

The Plot: Following the original Shelley story, this film begins in the Arctic Circle and is told to a shipwrecked crew by Victor Frankenstein himself. The narrative takes you through some of Victor’s childhood, a lot of his time in med school, his lust for his adopted sister (which, I guess back then was totally Hunky Dory), and, of course, how he created the monster. However, what I was surprised by was you also get the story of the monster roaming the Earth in search of adventure and situations he could help out in (yes, like Caine in “Kung Fu”). This thing is, in the original tale, a thinking, feeling, moral mountain of a man who’d rather blab about his feelings than kill stuff–but don’t push him! He will mess you up (and maybe quote some “Hamlet” while he’s pulling you apart with his bare hands)!

The real Frankenstein monster and Mary Shelley’s monster sharing an apartment:

What makes it watch-able: Revenge! Cheesy dialogue! Electric eels! Overacting! Sacks of embryonic fluid so big they’ll make you blush (and of course, folks sliding around in the juices)! Helena Bonham Carter wearing WAY too much make-up (only for one scene, but you’ll know it when you see it)! And let’s not forget about the super-strong reanimated frog! I watched the hell out of this, and I’d do it again.

I could see how this kinder, more literate Frankenstein’s Monster could be a let down. The movie is a little slow in parts and watching Robert De Niro as the monster is a bit off-putting at first. I couldn’t help but enjoy all the stuff I’d never heard of, though, and some of it was campy enough to give “Evil Dead” a bit of competition (okay, it wasn’t THAT good, but I still had fun watching it). All in all, a very positive experience.

Times I had to avert my eyes: 0
Breaks needed to complete viewing: 1
Overall rating from 1 to 10: 7

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