Vampire Boulevard – A Scott Shaw Zen Production 2004 

Jon: Hey, Scotty! Give me a movie with nothing!

Scott: One movie with nothing, comin right up!

 

Okay, I’d seen one movie made by the good folks that produced this, and I had pretty low expectations going in. The movie I’d watched previously was called Armageddon Boulevard, and let me tell you, it was a piece of work. After viewing Vampire Boulevard, and having a fairly good time (because of the company, not because of the movie) I made a secret vow to myself that I’d never watch another one of these, that I broke two times in the next two days…

 

The Plot: Went out the window as soon as we put the disk in. There is nothing at all about this movie that makes me believe that any thought/effort/money/elbow grease of any sort was put towards the picture’s story. If you put several ideas for scenes on a dartboard, blindfolded yourself, turned around and threw several darts in the opposite direction, you’d have just about as much plot as Vampire Boulevard (and if there were any people in the room with you that happened to get skewered, they’d probably be just as happy with you as if you made them watch this film).

 

What makes it Watch-able: You cannot understand the appeal of a Scott Shaw film until you see one for yourself. Armageddon Boulevard, thus far, would be the one I’d suggest starting with. If you can’t watch that, you’ll never be able to watch this…

 

That being said, I wouldn’t have traded the experience of seeing this particular movie in the setting it was viewed for a basket full of rainbows. If I had to watch it myself, I’d have shut it off. No amount of nudity, terrible kung-fu, stupid disco clothing, or laughably bad acting (each of which you’ll find aplenty in the film) could have kept me interested had I been alone. It is a testament to my friends’ fortitude—and their undying love of yours truly—that this film is being reviewed at all.

 

Hats off to those who helped me in my hour and a half of need!

 

The next day, we ended up watching Toad Warriors—another Scott Shaw Zen Production. The magic, however, had dwindled. I would recommend both of the Boulevards to anyone who reads this site, but with a warning I first saw as the tagline of Witchboard: “Don’t play it alone”.

 Averted Eyes: noneBreaks Needed: I think one or twoOverall rating from one to ten: 3 or 7 

P.S. There won’t be any cartoons for a while, as I’m away from my Mac, and Paint just doesn’t do the job. Sorry.

 

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