I Can Watch “Swing Kids”
February 2nd, 2009 by burningoak01This was a dare given to me by my sister, Rosanna. Thanks, sis. It was horrid.
Swing Kids - Dir. Thomas Carter 1993
I saw the preview for this movie 16 years ago and knew that I didn’t want to watch it. I’ve seen it in video stores for years and have always passed it by. Sometimes you avoid a thing for years, but when forced to deal with it, it turns out to be better than you expected. Now that I’ve watched Swing Kids, I can say without doubt that it would have been more agreeable to subject myself to any number of the things that I’ve avoided since the age of 14 (fights with people bigger than me, hostage situations, rabies, responsibility, eye contact with crazy people, honest assessments of my situation, etc). The adjective that comes to mind is “shameless”; it’s obvious that Swing Kids knew what it was doing–it just didn’t care.
The Plot: As the Nazis come to power, one of the best ways for the German youths to rebel was (apparently) swing dancing. Peter (Dr. Wilson from the TV show House) and Thomas (Christian Bale) are swing dancing fiends, but since the Nazis tend to make life difficult for Swing Kids, they decide to join the Hitler Youth so they can dance at night without fear. While Peter remains true to himself and the swing movement, Thomas gets really into the Nazi propaganda and decides that Hitler is right. Friction ensues.
What Makes It Watchable: Sometimes the dialogue is delivered with a German accent and sometimes it’s pure American english (for anyone who gave Kevin Costner a hard time for Robin Hood: Prince of Theives, the accent continuity in Swing Kids will make you gag), which is mildly amusing. The Swing Kids themselves do a decent job with the script they were given, but it’s hard to take them seriously (certainly not as seriously as the movie wants you to take them) when they keep dancing out their aggressions like Kevin Bacon and saying things like “Swing Heil”. The vain attempt Swing Kids makes to tug at your heart strings fall short because the backdrop of the swing lifestyle is just too corny. A film revolving around Goth kids battling terrorism by talking at length about how good Marilyn Manson is and congregating to drink fake blood would have a similar effect. The only things this movie really tells us: Nazis are bad, kids are dumb, and people that can only talk about what music they listen to are boring. No surprises there!
On the up side, it’s really fun to watch Batman evolve from an avid swing dancer to a super scary Nazi. Watching Dr. Wilson run around being angsty in his Hitler shorts keeps the party going, too. Like any unsuccessful combination of Schindler’s List and Flashdance, Swing Kids is not without a few unintentionally funny moments, but if you want a GOOD movie about music and Nazis, check out Cabaret or The Sound of Music.
Averted Eyes: 0
Breaks Needed to Complete Viewing: 0
Overall Rating from 1 to 10: 4
Most people hate bad movies. Some people like to make fun of them. Not me. I LOVE BAD MOVIES! This site is all about my love of horribly bad movies, television shows, and media. My friends have always told me that I'll watch anything. (Think I'm joking? Check out the list of things I've already watched under "categories"!) Now I'm going to put that to the test. I'm on a mission to find a movie so bad, even I can't sit through the whole thing! 