So, my brother and a few of his friends have found my site. I’m pretty happy about it. Your dares are on the list, and I will get to them as quickly as possible (and I will watch them and will emerge victorious).

I did find out tonight that my little bro is WAY into the metal, and I imagine that his friends are too. As a service to anyone in this group, I just wanted to give the low-down on what metal is all about. In case you didn’t know, Satan is SO WEAK!

Okay, Megadeth is pretty cool, and I can’t rightly knock Metallica until after “…and justice for all”, but Overkill? Really?

Everybody knows that anyone who’s TRULY affiliated with Satan gets the shaft while there career is in full swing. Robert Johnson, Roman Polanski, The Bee Gee’s, Carrot Top–the list goes on and on. My advice for the younger generation of metalheads (and don’t get me wrong, I’m glad you’re out there) is to be a little more discerning about what you consider to be good music. It’s gotta be a lot harder now than it was when I was 15–Guns N Roses has gone down the drain, and Dokken is playing your local bowling alley, but seriously, guys, have some standards!

I ate some barbecue a few weeks ago and 2 hours later I farted a better song than Overkill or Cannibal Corpse could ever play. Listen, if I can make better music with my butt and a toilet than someone can make with a guitar, I wouldn’t own their album. Keep the Megadeth, go to a Gwar show, listen to Sabbath, turn the Cinderella up when your girl dumps you, and learn to know the difference between music and trash. And keep the dares coming!

Posted in Rants and Raves 3 Comments »